Nature
Nature and related stuff
Estonia Unveils 560-Year Plan To Detonate Antimatter Bomb In Deep Space
TALLINN—In what defense analysts are calling “an admirably patient escalation strategy,” Estonian scientists confirmed Tuesday that they have formally submitted a proposal to NASA requesting assistance in transporting 1,000 kilograms of antimatter to the outer edge of the Oort Cloud and detonating it in what officials described as “a reasonably safe direction.” The proposal suggests […]
Confused Bear Drifts Into Gotland by Contraband Balloon, Prompting EU Debate on Airborne Wildlife Smuggling
VISBY, SWEDEN — Residents of the Baltic island of Gotland were left stunned Tuesday morning after a visibly exhausted bear descended peacefully into a sheep pasture beneath a large homemade hot-air balloon believed to have originated in Belarus. Witnesses described the animal as “deeply confused” and “slightly damp.” Local authorities reported that the bear made […]
Bigfoot Doesn’t Speak French — Yukon Reopens the Klondike
WHITEHORSE — Tensions rose above -40°C this week after a new federal harmonization initiative suggested expanding French language usage “into all symbolic and practical dimensions of public life” across Yukon, including trail signage, snowplow labeling, and potentially bilingual ravens. Reaction from hardened Northern residents was immediate, practical, and thermally layered. At a local coffee shop […]
Scientists Stun the World: the Animal with the Strongest Erotic Fantasies Is… the Sloth
GENEVA — The International Institute for Very Serious Research today released findings that have shaken the zoology, psychology, and slow-movement communities alike: the animal with the most intense fantasy life is… the sloth. Yes, that one. The same creature that appears to spend 14 hours a day contemplating whether lifting its arm is truly worth […]