Superman Confirmed Real, Regrettably Albanian, Scientists Announce
TIRANA—In a discovery described as “deeply inconvenient but scientifically unavoidable,” researchers at the University of Tirana have officially confirmed that Superman exists and is, in fact, a 52-year-old Albanian plumber named Arben Leka.
The mild-mannered resident of the small town of Mbrakull reportedly spent decades unclogging drains, fixing leaky faucets, and quietly concealing his ability to bend steel, defy gravity, and travel between parallel universes. According to stunned physicists, Leka finally revealed himself after publicly thanking U.S. President Donald J. Trump for ending a decades-long military conflict between Albania and Azerbaijan—one that, until recently, everyone was fairly certain did not exist.
While most observers assumed the president had simply confused Albania with Armenia, Leka calmly clarified that the war had indeed occurred—just not in this universe.
Presenting what experts called “disturbingly compelling” evidence, Leka demonstrated his interdimensional abilities and unveiled a relic from a parallel Earth: a helmet belonging to a legionary of the Albanian Empire. The artifact, which appeared to resemble an upside-down toilet, was authenticated by historians after several minutes of squinting thoughtfully.
In the alternate universe described by Leka, the Albanian Empire has dominated Europe and the Black Sea region for centuries, with Azerbaijan serving as one of the last defiant holdouts. “Frankly, it explains a lot,” said one historian, who declined to specify what.
Within days, the revelation became a viral sensation. Talk shows debated imperial Albanian expansionism across timelines, while school curricula were swiftly updated to include “Comparative Interdimensional Geopolitics.” The Albanian government has already incorporated the parallel empire into its long-term strategic planning, just in case.
With empirical tests confirming Leka’s superhuman strength and verified inter-world travel, Albania has now become the first nation to officially recognize one of its citizens as a certified Superman.
